Just had to reach into my sister's bag and shut off her vibrator so my parents wouldn't hear it. I am the world's greatest brother.
Planet Earth isn't gonna get stoned and watch itself.
I don't remember what your face looks like..
I don't remember your face either, just your dick.
i just realized i dont have a sober facebook picture since 2007
And it just wouldn't be a Thursday night without me having to cuss out a foreigner. The streak continues.
You should get a handy in the street again, just to prove you've still got it.
How was me telling you it's my mom's birthday a go-ahead to bang my sister???
She frightens me and turns me on at the same time. She's a keeper
Restraining order pending?
She was giving me head while we were in my tree house, my mom then came out to let the dog out so she stopped so I would stop groaning, was it good? You tell me
Apparently at 2 AM I decided to let the world know about my newfound love for elephants
BURNT NIPPLES ARE UNHAPPY NIPPLES.
If I was home I'd be ouija boarding the fuck out of the house, haven't been this high since that day
You're wearing pigtails and giving away our kitchen appliances. Clearly, you're drunk.
just saw those girls we met the other night. i happen to be wearing a bunny suit and driving your smart car. i think its safe to say thats a no go situation.
can I CTRL ALT DELETE this universe
Randomize