We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.
Different chick, same blowjob, same parking lot.
turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
im stripping for him via video chat, but the sound is turned off cause his students are taking a test
Okay, guy from work I want to fuck just told me he liked the font on my PowerPoint presentation. It is so on.
Make me proud, climb that corporate ladder.
She refered to her bed as the "cockpit"....I understand that this morning.
She literally crushed my balls between her butt cheeks. It was both the greatest and worst thing ever. Dancers are awesome.
I really have to stop waking up in hot tubs on Friday mornings.
Just thought to myself "I should practice shotgunning a beer before Wednesday." I don't think my GPA is going to like this semester.
Totally sleeping on a bloodstained mattress tonight. I love life's little adventures.
Omg no. We ate a raw pumpkin last nighr. We dipped it in BBQ sauce.
I really want to throw this drink in your face but it was 6 dollars that shits expensive
Even dream me is a champ at smoking weed
So apparently I was a completely different person lastnight, one who drinks scotch and makes out with 55 year old men who look like inspector gadget
I am on my way right now and I SWEAR TO GOD IF YOU EAT MY BURRITO YOU WILL NEVER SEE MY TITS AGAIN
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