I'm home now. bring me food and boobies
i was looking up hair salons in ithaca for the wedding and one is a hair salon/ sake bar! you can have sake or champagne while you get your hair done!
question, how would one sake-bomb while getting hair done without getting a horrible haircut?
tonight's goal was "most regrettable decision" and you bring wine coolers?
There comes a time in a man's life when he's almost thirty he just needs to stop watching Degrassi. This is that time.
I was under the impression that I sent actual words. turns out it was a series of letters and question marks on a side note we still had sex
I love that my brother has just convinced my dad that smoking a blunt it an "unspoken family tradition"
Now if u will excuse me I have to go prep my vagina for this amazing sex filled weekend I'm about to encounter
Your message cut off at "shit on the floor". Your life is incredible.
he literally referred to his penis as the alaskan bull worm from spongebob. when can we get married
his daughter has his phone and goesss ohhh boobies and shows me a picture of my own tits...
My boyfriend's brother just got out of jail and he is already telling us to steal cable. Dude.
They were so sore! Either I have bed bugs or you were biting my nipples last night and don't lie to me.
I still hate everything and everyone around me. Krampus taught me nothing.
Totally reading about penis envy for my final exam
He casually compared computer science to childbirth and I was like "hey, as someone who has wanted to fuck you for six months now, could you please never talk about childbirth ever again"
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