Boobs. All I remember is boobs.
she's just sitting in a corner ripping all of the filters off her menthols
you'd be confused too if you woke up to pictures of a ghostbuster doing body shots off you.
i just deleted quailman, hot hawaiian dude, appalachian swimmer, and connecticut from my phone
I wouldn't really call it 'getting lucky' considering I paid her to do it.
Handicvap rails on the toilet atre soooooo fuckin handy right nmow.
I tell myself every day I shouldn't be friends with you
Apparently I got mad at you for "Not drinking with me till we thought we were seahorses" and smashed my face on your door. Then I put my feet in the oven and started crying because I was drinking alcohol from a pot. My life is spinning out of control.
I had to keep telling myself 'you can't be mad at him because you peed on him'
Well, I made it all the way to the gas station. And from there, I begged a cab driver who was parked outside, to give me a piggy back ride the final 2 blocks to my apartment. I wasn't in the cab. Didn't have to pay. Drunk me is smart, and very lazy.
That super awesome moment when the guy who threw up in your bed last night crawls into your roommate's bed the next morning...Naked...She was in it.
It's 2:10 am I am sprawled on the floor of the kitchen drunk and eating cold chicken wings come help
My purse is like an anchor I can't move I am sliding around like an over turned turtle send help
This floor is really dirty send a maid if you can
fuck that its my house. if i want to take 1 bite out of the chicken & leave the rest i fucking will. suck my dick
Had the best sex Thursday night then Friday night I met his girlfriend. The worst thing is we became friends like she gave me her number.
I just fanned myself with my wet toothbrush to dry my mascara. Wtf
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