he said i'm too pretty to suck penis
i dont care if i had to wear a dress to fuck her, she was super hot and i stand by my decision
we are sitting in a kindergarden classroom alone chugging beer. look at our lives. look at our choices.
The black hole just entered the party man, I can literally see guys starting to move towards her.
Note to self: Don't go home with a recent divorcee. Semen and tears.
He told me how it ended, then I blew him.
So he ruined the best cinematic experience of your life and you REWARDED him??
Mike passed out early so we kept filling his mouth with redi-whip and letting the dog lick it out, but he started getting hives so we stopped.
good news: smoking weed at school again, quality of life has improved drastically
Honey you are a beautiful woman but I came over to eat your pizza and fuck your brother. And you're out of pizza.
Wish me luck on my new penis adventure
I need to hurry up and get over my feelings for him so next year's tipsy reunion sex won't be clouded by emotions.
Come cuddle! I'll be passed out somewhere in the library. It'll be like a scavenger hunt!
i cant go to his party cause last time i pressed the red buttons on the wall and the fire alarm went off for 40 minutes, i'm not allowed back there
I'd send you a picture as proof but I want to marry him some day and that would be a deal breaker.
Do you think Ashley had her twin sister tag in for our date? The sex was different and I think a mole was missing
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