I admire the strength of friendship we have that allows for sharing husbands.
puking up blue gatorade is not as nearly as much fun as it sounds
A guy at the bar bought me a jag bomb because I'm the chick that frosts his donuts at KT. Never have I been more proud of being a failure at life.
I just cleaned your Jaeger vomit off my car with a knife. Don't ever say I don't love you.
Lets just make a point system, like if we have sex add a point, if they leave after take away a point, if they stay all fucking day take away a point
I really don't think there's anything more liberating than farting.in a loud bar where no one.can.hear you
She complimented my boobs and then told me I smelled like teddy bears before falling asleep on the floor.
I thought it was pretty weird, but after the marinating loins thing, i figured i'd roll with it.
My Sexting was not on an AP level
I'm not trying to analyze you I'm just saying you are being unfair to soup
extra points if i make kids and or the elderly cry
Sex to movie scores is my best choice of the year. You've had an orgasm but have you had an orgasm with an entire orchestra.
I don't care how hot she was. She didn't like Scooby Doo and I don't fuck with that.
How are you and the lady friend?
Well, she's a lunatic, and I love sex, so we're good.
Turns out tits aren't quite as effective an enticement when they know for a fact that they can't touch.
Randomize
