well, if it werent for her you wouldnt have gotten a handjob in the middle of the bar. so, maybe you should thank her too.
Improvement. She went from pretending she was the soccer ball in the world cup games and it hurt when they kicked her to passed out on the floor.
She narrowed it down to 7 guys that could have gotten her pregnant.
Wierdest expirience of my life this girl literally just knocked on my door at 140am to blow me in the shower. Idk what im doing but im doing it right
I feel like I just walked the hall of shame thru the marriott. Everyone stared.
I think it was the shoes and limping. Not the sex. I could b wrong.
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
I kindof just wanted to go downstairs and let his dad know how good his son was at sex
I will tell my future kids about the time I went to the bar with a stomach virus. Like a champ.
Everyone should know the rule that if your dicks touch during a threeway you just make lightsaber noises and move on.
...You tried to use your wallet to call her after you gave your cell phone to the cab driver as a "peace offering"
So I spent all night thinking my bed was floating down a river and telling the cats to get on the bed because they were going to float away. Percocet is strong shit.
He started yelling "you tha man!" while I was reverse cowgirl
For some reason she gave me a handjob. It was all very confusing
you told us the chicken was mocking you, then proceeded to explain that every time someone reads your mind you accidentally think of something sexual
april was a good month for me, sexually...doubled my number, had a threesome, fucked a girl for the first time and two different boys in one night. there should be a medal
Randomize
