I wish you wouldn't refer to your breast milk as "ammunition"
He's a fan of Alicia Keys on Facebook. It doesn't NEED to say 'interested in men'.
I don't think anyone has ever said "boy I'm glad I took those shots of everclear" when they wake up
he just payed for our date, after telling him I was leaving early to meet my fuck buddy. is there something lower than friendzone I can stick this guy in?
so went to the condom shack today. bought a condom that dresses up your dick in a suit...tomorrow im fucking in style
Can we ask the Hungry Howie's guy to pick up some blunt wraps on the way over?
im pretty sure your bra is in my room hanging on my shark pinata
I'm stoned and just shared 4 cookies with this chicks dog
They're raisins though so they're healthy. No worries.
I think a kid would responsible me up
It's meant to be, Cynthia. You, him, and your developed breasts are meant for each other.
Banged my ex-wife last night...so I belong to that club now.
I told the bartender that his red, white and blue shots were terrible and tasted like Thomas Jefferson's balls.
I didn't even mind that he came early I just wanted to get eaten out and cuddle
I haven't felt more like a college student than when I woke up this morning naked with my sociology textbook in front of me and my bong in my left hand.
And my butt misses you like the deserts miss the rain.
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