We are so in love
so when's the next time you get to see your balls
then they high fived as they party boyed me. I was a policewoman sandwhich. I love you halloween.
So... 5th graders can't whisper for shit, but apparently I have an awesome rack.
Haha. Niice.
Yeah, I didn't know whether to be shocked or flattered.
both.
it makes it look bigger when i shave, i hope its not the same for a girl
you started putting condoms on anything with a point, then you were yelling at the lamp for using your last condom...
I'll be a little late, "getting ready for the party" turned into "smoking a bowl and doing lines in my room for an hour and a half." But I'm on my way now. With coke. And weed.
they wouldn't let me take the pitcher of beer on the ferris wheel
Their was just 7 people standing outside eating a costco chicken, definitley at the right party
doing an easter egg hunt in a liquor store right now. i feel so adult
It's a given that you're going to get peed on at a country concert
Today's goal is to get out of bed, before I take a shit. This might be hard
Pass or fail tho
"Where are you? Where are my keys? What is this guys name again? Why am I wearing two pairs of your pants?"
If a marine in My bed is not considered a valid excuse for missing class then I don't want to live in America anymore
who knew my inner goddess was such a whore
Just learned a very valuable life lesson. Never motorboat a cat when they have claws.
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