I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
she said her black crocs were her 'dress up crocs'
He just brought me a wine glass. Full of Tequila. Ignore any texts after this one.
Of course she said it wasn't that good, I don't bring my A game to pity fuck the thrice divorced girl from work
I can't right now...you know Sunday night is whn I get drunk and do laundry.
Managed to get through family dinner without anyone knowing I was tripping balls. Christmas miracle. He exists.
They made the rule if I caught the ball with my cleavage they would drink the entire beer pong table. I don't think they expected me to actually do it.
I'm pretty sure my lung is caught on my rib. And I can't feel the left side of my face. Best. Sex. Ever.
It's like a booty call, except its for tacos...and you're my brother.
If I had a dick, I'd stick it in some Oreo pancakes
I have experienced an excessively hairy ballsack in my mouth...and it was horrifying. I keep feeling it in my mouth now. It's like hairy ball PTSD.
Split a bottle of Johnny Walker and then decided to eat a shit ton of peanut butter. That was a rough bed to wake up in
i wish i could put you in a lil box, and keep you for when i need to be blown
just woke up and had to check if i still had pants on, i really need to stop drinking
Apparently I was carrying around a bottle of listerine calling it 5 loco
Randomize
