Haha she couldn't find her dress in the morning. So she left it. How do the hell do I discreetly return that to her at work. More importantly, how did she discreetly do the walk of shame??
Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
Spencer Pratt, I WILL beat the shit out of you someday, I Promise
I just wanna not walk straight. Is that too much to ask for?
Old lady caught me peeing in the street and yelled at me and said "I REBUKE YOU"
Ice that vagina down, get some coffee, and try not to walk with a limp. It's time to dominate, pull it together
I found one of your hair extensions on the dance floor. You put it back in your hair
There's scrapes on the inside of both my thighs.. Because we wanted to get drunk and climb trees naked.
Well ill be drunk so just come find me. Its like where in the world is Joey San Diego
I was angry that a college kid had a new Audi
so I peed on it
They made up a new version of "Smash or Pass" called "I would(n't) let you sit on my face" to yell at the freshman
OK BUT WHO THE FUCK FORGTS A LIVE CHICKEN IN MY HOUSE
There has been a song made about you fucking his roommate.
It's destiny.
Are you trying to say I've made an emotionally well rounded transformation similar to the Grinch?
The magnum condom fits. I feel like a manly version of cinderella
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