He tugged on my tampon string and said 'there's a snake in my boot'. Needless to say he called me Woody and quoted Toy Story the rest of the night.
I feel fat after drinking my meal replacement shake.
I added chocolate sauce, a bsg of m&ms and a crushed up brownie to make it taste better.
going to the gym drunk. fuck whoever made basketball season and getting a spring break ready body in the same season.
The stoners next door have their couch on the sidewalk again, shirtless, soaking their feet in a baby pool and listening to loud ukulele music. I want their life.
Made a visit to my old puking stall. I missed it.
Last thing I remember was you straddling a guy in a wheelchair on the dance floor.
The trip involved octopus tentacles coming from the little holes in my TV's speakers. The beauty of the nonexistant symbolism had me in tears.
I smell like I just crawled out of a bottle of champagne and landed on the floor of taco bueno.
Now I'm at the gym and I never want to leave. It's a combo of adderall and endorphins and I don't want it to go away
He looked at me and just said "moist". The entire party shut down from uncomfortableness. He is an anti-party wizard.
I don't know if I want to fuck him or punch him in the face.
You took off your shirt and pulled out a bottle of cherry uv and a slushee. That's when I knew you came to party
Would you say that skipping class and sitting alone in my room singing One Direction to myself and sobbing is an acceptable way to deal with the break-up
I had to pee so bad that I snuck into the bathroom while they were in the shower. At her request, he was massaging her boobs so they could grow faster. Also there was a laser light machine.
Stereotypically, lax bros last the longest, but have huge egos that are annoying. Baseball players barely last 10mins, but are really nice. And than we have soccer players, last long and have no egos. Me and my friends have collected our findings.
Randomize
