woke up to find a pram in the balcony. first thing we did was look over the edge!
Well for one thing, she was eating rice with a shot glass.
Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
No. untill you have done a puke that contains nothing but semen and tequila, you do not 'feel my pain'
Just got a hand job during Charlie St.cloud I honestly never thought Id thank Zac Efron fir one of his movies but thank you
he got mad when I told him his flaccid penis looked like a sleeping kitten
God I love incriminating evidence...wonder what the statue of limitations is on shitting on someones driveway
I just remember looking over and seeing you on top of him and us high fiving. That's when I knew we'd be perfect roommates
It's like that thing with the devil and the angel except one shoulder has orgasms and the other has stuffed crust pizza and depression.
Oh great. I guess I'm second on that list now that we've confirmed she's not a lesbian AND that was her sister.
If you end up wanting to sit on his face, just make a sound like a dying giraffe and I'll make myself scarce.
This bird just went for my eyes. Does he think I'm dead???
He was standing in the living room wearing a Donald Trump wig and looking very disappointed
sometimes i just have a bad day n consider lowering my standards
ya well i woke up to my roommate spraying me with windex...
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