omg... punch me in the throat... I am about to lose my mind with my parents.. I'm not saying I agree with the menendez brothers.. but I understand
Anywhere you can eat green eggs and ham, you can have sex.
It's like my work doesn't even care about margarita mondays.
Your philanthropic work just got me laid, thanks dad for naming me #2.
So I woke up in a strange bed with a note taped to my arm giving me directions back to my brothers apartment.
I found a ladder. I don't know where I am. Gonna climb it. I feel like aladin
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
I just peed behind the dumpster and dedicated it to you. Can i call u?
he spent like 10 minutes trying to convince us that he was throwing up in the bushes on purpose in order to cut weight for wrestling
They need to leave so I can start drinking shamefully.
He also has scotch. LOTS AND LOTS of scotch. I think you'd like him!
That is always a wonderful personality trait!
well at least you didn't have your nipples chewed last night
Apparently I have decided there are no repercussions for my actions
Yeah I'm just gonna stay here and spread my horniness to the world.
got laid for being an eagle scout again. 4 more and ill have all my merit badges.
Randomize
