I least I know I can't get pregnant because it's on my hair
coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
the pizza man had no reaction when jackie and me opened the door naked, i guess he's used to that shit
Another night, another sound of my neighbor almost having an orgasm.
And she used to have such long ones. Sad.
You don't have to be drunk! I've licked your asshole before
Her husband keeps getting drunk and making out with me. Good news is I found the strep carrier. Bad news is have strep again.
Oh you don't have to buy a shower curtain, I stole the one from her bathroom. It has dolphins on it.
The only way to make beer can wizard staffs any better is to sew your own wizards robe and hat to go along with it. welcome to tuesday nights at my new apartment
We celebrated International Women's Day by spending $700 and taking our tops off at the strip club
The boys offered to pay but we went halfs because we're feminists
What guy invites over a booty call, gets all naked and then when the real fun begins and a condom is needed, claims to not have one? And wears socks THE entire time?
Thank fucking Christ I was not wearing pants or eating chocolate cake last night.
You've discovered your super power: Your Vagina
if anyone breaks out the olive oil & slip n slide, text me 911.
Im 76 percent sure I took a fully clothed shower last night.
oh and i figured out why we kept smelling vomit. ive got vomit on my socks. putting the heater on my feet was not the best of ideas.
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