i just walked with a girl who was carrying a chair down the street. apparently she got mad at the bartender and took the bar stool when she left.
Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
and you tried to get a free burrito from Potbelly's
Just stole a pregnancy test from Wegmans because I didn't want to pay 13 dollars to find out my life is over.
He's the equivalent of a body pillow and a dildo. But still funny. We have good pillow talk.
i think i'd rather have a trophy of a like jizz stained curtain or something
5am is far to early to be on jagerbomb number 6 right now
I mean, how many people can say they helped surgically remove something from their body? Other than the guy that got his hand stuck under a rock and cut it off. Doesn't count
My liver was like a college freshman on spring break. It would've danced topless on tables if it could have.
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
We're having Wednesday-night goat-night at the bar.
It's hard to explain...
yea I went to the store high again.. I think we're having pie for dinner.
DROP EVERYTHING! Gatta go get tested for herpes, lets make an adventure out of it.
Let's be real, he was never going to be tall enough
Trust me, I’ve got a sixth sense about dicks that tells me if a guy knows how to fuck and it’s tingling. You need to prove me right!
I’m not going to bang him just to confirm your Dickth Sense
The Dickth Sense!!! I love it! It’ll be our first porno!
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