Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
checking your phone to see who you drunk dialed last night isnt as funny when you see you had a 17 minute call to your dad.
its like playing clue every morning after we party. she did him in the kitchen with..oh god.
just took my ibuprofen with ramen broth, yay college
found some acid from a couple months ago while looking through christmas lights. Looks like santa came early this year.
Let's make jello shots for tomorrow
What's going on tomorrow?
Nothing, it's Wednesday
Im sending over a girl who thinks youre in the next twilight movie
your the best winggirl ever
Your panties and toothbrush are in your mailbox. just not ready to be with anyone serious. take care.
Hate is such a strong word! I prefer to think that you strongly dislike me due to the honesty I show towards your routine shortcomings of success in life.
Look. You've gotta stop making this about you, and make it about my vagina.
I want to take my head off and cuddle with it
Maybe it will forgive me and stop being an asshole
my dad is now demonstrating how to start a fire with a tampon. happy fucking new year!
i saw way too much penis for that to have been a funeral
I just remember banging him and then at some point I went and took a shower and went and laid in the closet
So yeah, turns out I enjoy vaguely public group sex. Who knew?
Randomize