I have no morals, kinda like you have no standards
None
that was the first time i tried it. why is it all sticky? its like somebody threw a glue bottle at my face.
we need blinds so i can safely watch porn during the day
does anyone know how to get red sharpie out of a white cat?
Reason #1 for no sex outdoors: Mosquito bites. Awkward, awkward mosquito bites.
I have a question, if it paid really well, like ridiculously well, would you be a restaraunts under the table resident blowjob girl?
looking back, maybe 11 flaming dr peppers was a little extreme
I hope making "real" money at your "real" job is worth it because you totally missed beer and dorrito mac n cheese tuesday.
I was more than drunk as hell I have rug burn on my elbows from ninja roles on the ground..
Do you think Brian would let me smoke while we fuck? I'm not sure ill survive exams without a constant nicotine intake
thanks for piggy backing me around for the rest of the night when I got too drunk to stand.
Told the cab driver to take me to narnia last night. Turns out there's a bar called narnia on the south side of town. We are in business
like i got into his car and the beatles were playing. this kid is def getting his dick sucked
Your ability to eat ass like its your job and yet turn down quinoa because it's "gross" is confusing.
So i've noticed that drunk me erases sent messages to hide them from sober me, because drunk me knows that sober me will be PISSED at drunk me.
Randomize
