can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
Molly wanted me to tell you, "she hasnt shit on the floor in a while" like she thinks its an accomplishment.
I asked him how he was going to celebrate tomorrow and he said "tits, clits, and bong hits"
Seriously just heard: "we need some good ass wine. how bout this swa-vig-non blank"
hahahaha. Oh virginia: where the south begins
The polish Muslims are throwin paczkis into the crowd and I'm beer 6 before 11 am
I think I'm about to have sex with a second person before noon hehehhe! You're welcome America.
I just saw a guy in a sombrero and holding an inflated blow-up doll in all her "glory" get escorted out of the mall. I hate Marley.
There's a homeless man outside the bar. I have a toothbrush and toothpaste in my car. I think i'm going to give them to him. And they said drinking is bad.
You're so thoughtful.
Pretty sure I scared him off for good. The lesbian in me is ecstatic.
I was told to keep my leg elevated. I assume it means to keep my legs on the air, it's like I was prescribed to be slutty
I hooked up with a guy dressed up as morning wood. Needless to say he lived up to his costume.
at least its a cool name to shout when he's balls deep in you later
so third time im replacing the batteries on my vibrator in 2 months #sosingle....on another note though, black beauty is raring to go
I feel I should send an apology letter to my anesthesiologist.
Best night if my life? Time I got eaten out in the backseat of a M5 while eating White Castle. Then he fucked me. Perfect
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