Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
I need to talk to you about an important matter involving lesbians.
Apparently 151 is to me what spinach is to popeye.
sometimes when i'm drunk i choose the spanish option on the ATM to challenge myself.
It's been decided..lingerie is an investment. You get free breakfast and cab rides out of it.
You'd be proud of me. They tried to give me bread to sober up, but I told them no, im on a diet.
Care to explain why there is sushi in the soap dish in the bathroom
Don't bother coming over to clean the mess. I already paid two kids 5 bucks for it, just didn't tell them you peed all over the place. You do owe me 5 bucks though
so hungover ... i gave my nephew five bucks to go blow bubbles for an hour in the kitchen.
Twas the night before the bachelor party, and all thru the house...not a creature was stirring, not even a stripper?...
how many ponies have to be on my pajama pants to convince him im gay?
i think we need a new approach.
My boyfriend just asked what time I was coming over. As soon as my old BF unchains me. I think he ran away.
I think the cashier could tell I was sad. All I bought was penis shaped food and chocolate
I'm going to reward myself for having sex with coffee and a breakfast burrito.
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
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