I'don't know who your are but its that time a day. Drunk it up. Did you buy a House for goundhogs days?
I can't see straight with both eyes and ive only been at the bar for an hour. Someone else typed this for me.
dude, apparently i tried to force feed my grandma bananas last night.
He came to the party late, didn't bring tacos, and then asked what shennanigans we were getting into. I swear I will never fuck another hipster.
So I found "Fat chicks in saran wrap" in my search history.
That's all you talk about when you are wasted.
I barely even remember him. He is just a distant beard in my past.
So maybe I got drunk and hooked up with him in a hot tub? I mean that's nothing to be ashamed of, that kind of takes talent. I'd drown.
Ever the responsible adult, I just realized that today is the Obamacare deadline, but I'm too high to handle insurance now.
I would give a kidney to fuck him and he knows it. That bastard.
First of all she starred talking about God which immediately killed my buzz
I don't blame you. I made YouTube videos of me singing Rent songs then slept with a married couple. Fucking tequila.
He was 6'8" - I shit you not! He sat up in my bed and the ceiling fan got him right in the forehead.
I feel kind of like we’re in a gang and tonight is one of those “people are gonna know not to fuck with us” type of nights. And then tomorrow I am going to learn to pole dance. I’m not really sure how I got to this point in my life… but I like it.
That was before I lit my hair on fire
kick those bitches in the teeth and tell them mama came to party
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