On a side note I can sing drakes “best I ever had” so good you’d think I was on degrassi.
You have to stop making references to your extense knowledge of 13 year old girl television programming for me to believe you aren’t homo. The Bravo line-up was one thing, but seriously
Sitting in class thinking wow im glad im not hungover...and then i realized im still drunk.
i wanted to tell my neighbors to shut up it was 4am, but listening to her rag on him for his minute man routine was actually entertaining
I just realized I use Twitter to keep of track of when I get drunk.
the fog machine set off the whole complexes fire alarm
WHY ARE YOU POKING HOLES IN MY 3AM LOGIC?!
I've fallen from my one moral pedestal
I know I've wanted to fuck him for the past month, but when you're that hungover, the only chemistry you have is with a pillow and a gallon of water.
Debating going to the grocery store with my vibrator still in, cause I can't stand the idea of it out. Lets do some risk/reward
Ugh he's so pretty though. He bit my face at the bar because I tried to steal his ID and I forgave him
I forgot to pack a bra for work today...you would not believe the extremes i've had to go through in order to keep these nips from my coworkers
It was really strange. I feel like I had sex with a synchronized swimmer.
i refuse to sex anyone who doesn't get my lord of the rings references. no exceptions.
I'm sorry I didn't get you anything for your birthday
It's just you didn't get me the fucking bear suit last year
She dropped the call after she told me she doesn't want to hear about how loud he can scream.
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