"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
after everytime she pucked, she insisted on us all giving her high fives
I'm too high to be shopping. I just contemplated deoderant for fifteen minutes. Now testing pillows
can't remember last night but the beers were $3.50, so i can count how many I had by counting my quarters
i can afford to take several trips up and down the parkway right now if I wasn't still hanging over my toilet
did i walk over a car last night?
You know that joke about taking tylenol pm and jerking off? you don't always win. sometimes you wake up in the morning naked lubed up cock in hand to the realator and would be perspective buyers laughing at you
I think i should wear mittens next time we have sex.
I called my mom while I was blackout drunk, and told her I was drunk, safe, and happy. But really, I was just drunk.
An d I'd rather cry while putting a waffle in my mouth than cry on my pillow, ya feel me?
Like who needs a job and family when you can get drunk for free with strippers?
we should start a freak-out-the-cashier-contest. I just bought JerseyShore Season2, red high heels, and nipple soothing pads
I'm a girl who met my last three bfs in gay clubs. Think I'm doing something wrong?
Remember that St. Patrick's Day when I fucked your married coworker in his truck and the whole bar was chanting for you "Don't fuck Mike"?! #TheLuckOfTheIrish 🍀
Sorry, I didn't know he was with you. The ongoing collapse of Trump has me horny as hell.
So I wore my ankle step-counter exercise thingy while I rode him. Don't fuck him- I only burned .2 pounds.
Randomize