My booty call said shes done doing the walk of shame. Wtf is that?
It's what anyone that sleeps with you, specifically, does when they leave. Some do it even when they just think of you.
I'm not to broken up about it. Our relationship was worse than a coldplay song.
like semen in my mouth is absolutely disgusting but i'd still like to experience it
Hey I have to teach you how to run in heels before vegas
I kept whispering "I love it when you call me big papa" until she got annoyed and left
How do I tactfully ask if the neighbors downstairs can hear me beating it?
i think you ate grass..but you refused to open your mouth so we could see..
he prob just wants to be friends and here i am photoshopping our kids
I just helped a group of highschool stoners find a safe place to smoke I feel like a responsible rolemodel
Dude, nobody just eats a banana these days. This chick wanted it. She wanted to get down with Charlie Brown.
My mom just asked me if I can obtain a fake ID by thursday
So your contact has been changed to "jizz weave" in my phone. Now, as strange and random as that may be, I'm slightly embarrassed to say that I have more than one contact that fits that description so please identify yourself.
So I am watching ghostbusters and I realized Rick moranis is basically in the friends zone than he turns into the key master bangs her and it leads to the end of the world...maybe there is a reason people are in the friend zone
He compared my vagina to his favorite T-shirt. I don't know if I should take that as a compliment or not..
I got with a bridesmaid and a server as well as put an $80 tab in rum and coke under the name Emerson Iglesias. Are you sure it wasn't my wedding?
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