So pretty much, I was trying to piece last night together and remembered a point where I was pointing to you heart then touching your face. I'm not sure that I ever translated that to "I like your personality better than your looks" but that's what I meant
Yeah i'm definitely friends with drunk kyle, not sober kyle.
like in an apt above a crackhead. A LEGIT CRACKHEAD. he woke me up every morning this week asking me if I wanted to buy a mini fridge and some CDs. at 5 am. EVERY DAY.
Just saw a white bronco on my way home from work and the license plate said "NOT OJ"
I just found little boats floating in my bathtub....they are made out of white castle boxes, condoms, pickles, and corks. All the wine we bought is being used as the "ocean"....clearly we didn't drink any of the wine.....but I don't remember doing this.
In the future let's not drunk dive in the fountain in front of the hotel bar.
my boss told me he would look for my wallet when he went back to the strip club tonight.
I made her a sippy cup with eggnog and whiskey. My meditation app told me to go the extra mile for someone today, so I did.
I got us chalkboard mugs. Now whoever comes home with us can feel comfortable in the morning! I am too considerate to my one-night stands...
Just read the 12 signs you're a horrible roommate post and fucking in your roommate's bed wasn't on the list, so I'm a pretty awesome roommate.
I think I fell asleep on the dance floor at one point...but played it off cool and acted like I just did the robot.
Also I ordered a dildo and I'm not sure if I want it still, so there might be a free dildo in your future
I'd still fuck that
You'd fuck a dead moose
Quite possible
My breath smells like gin and sadness
Did April legit get married in a parking lot?
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