That's why Kanye is a gay fish.
I was wrong being drunk doesn't make accounting more interesting
Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
They left me stranded on the side of the road with a table and five gallons of water. They said it was all I really needed to survive. People are staring
do you think if she looks enough like a dude i have to come out to my parents?
Last thing I remember was wondering why there was a mirror on the wall behind the urinal and then realizing I was pissing in the sink.
So update from last night: I made friends with a coke dealer, I tore the card scanner off the wall of my dorm, and I passed out on our bathroom counter with my head in the sink.
She sucks. And I almost hooked up with a clown last night
I have to deal with three things I do not like this weekend. Pooping in toilets that are not mine. Air mattresses. Not beating off in the shower.
It's pretty telling that my resolutions all involve who I will sleep with in 2014.
It's important to play to your strengths.
I was a plus one at an intervention for a person I didn't know.
Just screamed wow while using my vibrator.. new low
The Game of Thrones convention was just a drunk fuckfest.
Please tell me you banged Jon Snow.
We need a kiddie pool and lots of cornstarch
I showered three hours ago and yet feel the need for another one already. This is my day.
Randomize
