Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
my life is in even more shambles than last time, mcdonalds is closed
two words...techno handjob
oh my god. separately texting an Allie and an Ally while drunk is hard, and I'm climbed 1/2 way up a bridge pier.
Ice skating? Did you see me last night? I don't even know where my socks are
You sent me a picture of you holding a goat then asked me if I would have day sex
Vom Wallet is no more. We now boldly enter a responsible, adult era where we will not throw up liquor onto ourselves.
Filthy. I need to be power hosed with holy water.
We climaxed at the same time during ain't no mountain high enough. Does it get more cheesy or domestic for a non relationship?
Just put me in your contacts as coyote
Grilled cheese and shark week. Unemployment done right.
he offered me cocaine within 5 minutes of my arrival. yes of course i'm keeping him
Peeing in taco bell cups is part of the fun of going to taco bell
Everyone else's "needs" are getting in the way of my alcoholism.
Randomize