I haven't shaved so I have to behave myself. I'm going to do this from now on.
so my mom told me to suck on something if I have to cough. so I guess blow jobs are ok
I think my penis got bigger when i lost weight
Wednesdays are like the thursdays of tuesdays... Drink time
Definitely contact high. Thirty miles an hour listening too i can see clearly now wanting too eat the steering wheel
Alright. I will breast feed the first person to get here.
I repeat the shot was ON FIRE. I am never going to a pirate bar again.
Ultimate Fighter Idea. You and I both have unprotected sex with the same girl in the spam of days. Whoever the child belongs to, wins and that child is the ultimate ultimate fighter.
How high are you?
Do you think you could handle being our babysitter if we roofied ourselves for fun??
There is no sno cone on earth better than alone naked time. Side note: text when you all are headed home.
Bouncer came into the bathrooms to tell us the old one-person-per-stall rule, realised it was two girls banging, and left us to it. Lesbiperks.
Poor guy. Tried so hard to get out of the friend zone. I had to make out with someone in front of him to put him in his place.
Gave her a puke bucket just in case. She filled the bottom of it with tears. Super sad. Although I am super proud she didn't puke. That was a lot of Fireball.
I promised her I would shit on your driveway. There's nothing that you or I can do about it now.
This is the worst drive ever. Im hungry, hungover, i gotta shit so bad, and the only radio station im getting clearly is playing alvin and the chipmunks christmas songs
Randomize
