who let me buy 6 packs of big league chew? and eat them all? thats not cool
Pre-St Patricks Day Log: Threw up across a 14ft radius, this is why the irish dont drink tequila
& he told me 'I don't think ur a big slut-just kind of an average slut'
HE THINKS THATS A COMPLIMENT!!!!!
So I passed out with my boxers on in the hotel jacuzzi at 5am.. The manager who kicked me out was pretty cute so I left my name and number for her at the front desk. I'm giving it a 50/50 she calls.
It's ok, I may have just peed outside your car and used your whataburger napkins. Hope you weren't saving them for a special occasion.
nothing like walking in the house at 3 am in my panties and a sheer shirt carrying a life sized cardboard dale earnhardt jr
It was the hardest I ever came in my life and once I could see straight again I just looked at him and said "cool"
I found him in the kitchen singing German metal into a banana while simultaneously mixing brownie batter. He didn't have any pants on.
So is it your turn now to pretend like dating someone else would stop us from fucking?
dude, shes trippin so bad. idk what shes on, she just told me she doesnt remember her name then proceeded to get in the shower clothed to try to "rinse off the high"
I just got wasted for $3.50. My life can't get any better.
The only thing i ask you for is vegan food and sex.
it was awkward when he was taking off my clothes and i had to help him undo my fanny pack
Can I come over and get it in, take a nap in ur bed, grab some poptarts and then leave?
You haven't lost that air of class about you...
All I want right now is a waffle and some fried chicken and a penis.
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