I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
went to the bathroom to piss, saw puke in the toilet thought wtf i dont remember puking, then turned around to find a chick i've never seen before passed out in my shower.
I just put a tampon in while driving. Don't tell me I don't got skills.
So getting a bj to I believe I can fly is one of the greatest things ever
So i forgot that my head is completely wrapped in gauze, and tried to do the "come hither" look. He think's i'm brain damaged
Omg I just met another drunk guy that is teaching me karate
You're probably reading this when you wake up from your "nap" in the front yard. Maybe next week you should go to class, and not start Thirsty Thursday at 9:30 in the morning.
I mean nobody wants to admit they ate 9 cans of ravioli but i did and i am not ashamed of myself
But for future reference, it might help your game if you don't tell the girl you're trying to get on your dick that she's "not the worst thing you've ever seen"
Pictures of drunk me in a bike helmet are like McDonald's collectible toys. There's sooo many, but NO ONE has seen all of them.
I think I used my hospital ID to cut the coke last night. I need to swab it for residue at work today.
Do you think I need to report to HR that the intern and I had butt sex?
Happy "I'm glad our dad made us sisters and then summarily downgraded himself to sperm donor" day.
he told me that he only likes small dogs. I should have known he was going to end up being little bitch.
The highlight of my week is I found some hetero porn I didn't completely hate. Branching out.
Randomize
