It's very clear that i'm the girl sweating out four lokos at 2 in the afternoon at the gym
He literally is quoting that 21 questions song, the 50 cent one. oh my god.
she just made some guy spank her... then made some chick take a running start and spank her.
he was like the dessert in the all you can eat man buffet that has become my life.
Travelers Top-Tip: Europeans do not appreciate being repeatedly referred to as "gypsy" regardless of how good your Borat impression is.
You shall now refer to my vagina as patty and patty only
On her way to bed she said, "If you have sex on the couch, just move my blanket" Needles to say, we moved the blanket
He walked around my apt complex completely naked and started peeing in the maintenance because he thought it was the bathroom. So yeah, pretty drunk.
COME AND FUCKING GET ME I AM IN SOME SORT OF JUNKYARD!!!
Why r u in my phone under "the last survivor"?
Welp, no use in crying over spilt milk. I can't unbang her.
I don't care that he's really strong. I need him to make me cum not fix my back problems
Today has been hell. Also I saw a dead man's penis. It's safe to say I will be getting very drunk tonight.
Well, you started screaming "I dont know you GO AWAY" to your mom when she was holding your hair as you threw up in her garden.
So bottomless mimosas = me waking up in a truck bed in a random neighborhood with no purse or phone or idea how I got there.
Randomize