I was hooking up with him in my car, he wouldn't stop with my nipples, I had to literally beat him off of me. He kept groaning too while he was doing it. Sick.
Mommy issues
my mario cart skills improve with alchohol. and i think my real car skills do to but the cop didnt see my logic
Just printed out my Plan B coupon at the library. Saving my own printer ink and paper as well as 10 dollars towards not being knocked up.
Operation Purity has been aborted
i signed up to donate 10 dollars a month to help the children that are being displaced in columbia because of the drug wars.. i felt obligated
theres a kid face down in the middle of campus... people are going about their day and paying no attention to him
wanna tell me why theres a glass of water stuffed with tamptons in the freezer?
Then, halfway through our conversation, I remembered what you drunkenly told me last night and was all "maintain eye contact, do not look at his massive penis".
Then he claimed me as his prize for 3rd place in a wing eating contest. Too romantic.
FACE TIME HER WHILE YOU GUYS BANG
Is this the guy that did shots off my ass at the beach? Haha
Yo, I totally had forgotten you were CA. Thank you for making my life easier with modern medicine.
Awake! can you bring me my pants...im under the couch
Want ramen today?
I need a salad
SALAD DOESNT WARM YOUR HEART AND BELLY
Why can't he see that I don't want a slow getting to know you period? I just want to bone. NOW.
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