I will come over but only if I don't have to take my sunglasses off for it
I may or may not have slept in someones apt on your street because they told me I was fun sized like a mini snickers
So the waitress at the Chinese Buffet totally just said "Adios" to a Hispanic couple. There's something you don't see every day.
any chance you can send me your legal ethics outline, in exchange for say, me buying you a lapdance the next time we go to the strip club?
My building was evacuated who wants to quake and bake
is it cool if i crash at ur house this weekend again bro
yea dude but i wld bring a sleeping bag or something just in case. or u may just have to shack up with a woman or 2 cuz we hav 10 girls visiting/staying over at my house.
how did u manage to make sleeping with a bunch of girls sound like an inconvenience?
i'm laying here naked in a pile of empty landshark bottles, is lauren still hiding under the toilet?
She who has the vag holds all the power. He will learn one way or the other.
ripping the fire alarm off the wall probably seemed like a better idea last night than it really was.
In between rounds of sex, you stopped and did drunken handstand push-ups.
Under no circumstances is tits McGee to make that kind of decision about my life!
I think the sex rug burn on my back is infected, can you check it out when you get home?
My autocorrect won't finish pterodactyl for me and I'm feeling personally attacked.
She shouldn’t care what consenting adults do behind closed doors
You do realize it was her husband you were hooking up with behind that door, right?
Reverse road head. Sa-witch!!!
Randomize
