Anal astronaut?
Wow word travels fast.
In Vegas, have spent the last 48 hours wearing a viking helmet and fanny pack. I consider this to be a career high since drinking is my career
Call me pathetic, but saying "tits for ireland" is working out really well on chatroulette today.
I knew I was in the wrong bar when "I have a daughter your age" was some random's pick up line.
At what point did we decide It was a good idea t have a wheelbarrow race in the parking lot?
I could hear them screwing through my bedroom wall again this morning, so I started beat boxing to the tempo.
Well I knew we were drunk when I told you it was a good idea to shit in the ocean
You have all been randomly chosen to participate in a new game called: how high was I? If you have any information about this or about where my clothing items went give me a shout. Thanks an good luck.
James this is colleen. This is my new number. You just texted my grandma about getting cockblocked. Congratulations.
Are we on the same shift tomorrow and more importantly do you want your pants back?
I currently look like a drunken mermaid, god I love beach parties.
Slept at my ex's best friends house while my ex was locked out and I walked by him sleeping in his car this am
Tonight we learned that just because we can fit a Tic Tac in the tip of my penis that does not mean we should.
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
You really do take on your dog's personality she sounded like her pug breathing when we were going at it.
Randomize
