party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
dude I just sharted for the first time ever, kind of gross
well what did you think, shitting your pants would be fun
How do you wash franks red hot sauce, whip cream, grapejuice and shame out of silk?
I would just throw it away. You cant just wash out shame, it has to soak for like a month.
All we had was a keg so we played edward nalgene-hands
new years resolution, not be in jail at midnight for 3rd year in a row.
I was officially considered the drunkest person in cuba when the bartender at the swim up bar made me wear a life jacket for 'safety purposes'
I keep reminding myself that my vagina isn't a homeless shelter.
Just walked out of my apartment and came face to face with a shirtless dude playing with his balls and trying to tie his shoes.
It's hard to be a gentleman when a girl pauses her karaoke version of "a whole new world," and proceeds to tell the entire bar that she wants your cock in her mouth.
woke up in your bed at 6 AM. on my way home I passed Nathan, bloody, barefoot, and still in a toga. He told me he woke up in a ditch then kept repeating "I'm totally bringing this up at meeting tomorrow". I'm proud of your frat today
i convinced him to be a french maid for halloween. he has no idea what he's in for. i just ordered the breast forms.
Can we go one day without you telling me that your dick misses me
I'm gonna play this game called Conquer the Dicks. I think it is self explanatory.
I just came rly close to telling a dude that I want to chew on him and there should be an oil painting of his ass up in the louvre before I realized that isn't how flirting is supposed to go
oh, he’s out of jail btw. as of about 6pm. one of his customers bonded him out apparently lol
Like he really got a coke fiend to bond him out?
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