You know, as long as there were ice cream breaks, I would totally eat chips for a living.
is it bad i banged a 25yr kindergarten teacher last night?
No thats like a top 10
Sooo just headbutted a stripper, meet you outside
When boys buy condoms it makes me feel proud of their mothers for doing a good job
This is your typical drubkba Amy test. Shout out to jisus for auto correct
i cannot be the only guy who has bought the every day with rachael ray magazine for use as porn
it wasn't until he got that douchey haircut that i started regretting sleeping with him
I can't drink with the moms anymore. All they talk about is lactating.
Dude! I just figured out I can successfully hide a 4oz flask between my boobs without endangering my cleavage! College: conquered!
If I hid at school to avoid the cops, is it fleeing and evading or just being a good student?
maybe if I avoid him long enough we could skip the talking part of "we need to talk"
Is it counter productive to ride on my exercise bike with a cocktail in hand?
You sluts I'm so proud of you. You're both wearing underwear.
I just woke and had to fish my phone out of a bowl of chili. I was wrist deep in it. WHO BROUGHT CHILI TO A PARTY?!
its not chili. and you brought it.
So I come home this morning to get ready for a job interview and there is garlic seasoning all over the hardwood and a knife in the wall. What. the. fuck.
Randomize
