Why I am the classiest girl you know: just mixed drinks for everyone on the baby changing station at the movie theater.
I don't give a shit about soccer but I'm really excited about drinking at 7 in the morning
all you kept saying from the spare room was "can you bring me a puke bowl...and the cat"
His parents had a bottle of captain morgan on the table for me when I went for dinner. I feel accepted
i no longer feel bad for not doin my schoolwork. im watching a porn in french. this MUST qualify as studying.
You SHOULD feel empty, we were at the top of our game, and by that i mean snorting things we don't understand and only a few steps away from adultery.
NEW RULE: NO INNAPROPRIATE CHOICES THAT INVOLVE GUNS. I LIKE IT. WRITE THAT DOWN.
well I think it'll pretty much be gone by Saturday. On a scale of 1- Snooki's unborn child how much do periods freak you out?
apparently putting your t-shirt on your head with a bottle of captain and telling girls your the pirate king of tallahassee doesn't work
Laying in bed nude eating a Big Mac with a cat. It's gonna be a good year.
This may be the alcohol talking, but I'm pretty sure I know Spanish now
I got to walk around for eight hours wearing power armor and acting camp. No way I wouldn't love it.
Dipping my sugar cookies in a glass of fireball and creme soda. This is holiday spirit
Just found $31 in my desk drawer. In $1's. WTF happened last night?!
Is texting an old booty call with "can you still get your ankles behind your ears?" an appropriate way to reemerge into the singles scene???
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