omg. don't know how to spell his name, but hot new zealand guy's dick is magic
I was too drunk to read the menu, let alone her body language.
My costume is made up of 4 inch heels and a firefighter costume I'm borrowing from the dramatic play area of my Pre-K classroom. I told you I could still be slutty on a teacher's salary.
btw he is cheating on one twin with the other. the main woman in his life has a mullet. I defiantly have either the coolest or weirdest uncle ever
Sometimes I seriously wonder if I could get away with vodka Sundays at work. Cuz this red bull feels naked.
Ok seriously I'm living off of bologna but I have 4 handles in the freezer.
Drunk me needs to be reminded of my sexual preferences.
at least it wasnt animals
What can I say? I like my food like I like my women, not entirely fucked by our contemporary world.
Can you bring home bongs? Like all the bongs. I need bongs
The bartender had to walk me home last night. New high or new low?
He said that he made a girl squirt to the ceiling and I got curious
The cat was building a spaceship out of the carpet, my legs were cans of tomato sauce, and there was something else in that pot you gave me.
There is blood all over my sheets and no discernible source.
Until you've snorted cocaine at 6am before your nursing school clinicals birthing babies you're not on my level
just hooked up with a guy ON MY CAMPUS VISIT. god only knows whats gonna happen when im actually a student
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