Dude, just discovered frito and mozzarella nachos. Don't say I never contributed anything to this world.
You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
Remember the time we were horrifically hung over, went to mcdonalds, an you merely felt the weight of the mcnuggets box and knew there was an extra?
like it was yesterday
Thats why you have fulfilling relationships with nice girls and i have kinky sex with crazies
Nope. Too hot. We just sat in my tub with cold water spraying on us drinking coronas. This summer heat is killing my libido slowly
Obama's speech on in 9 mins. Me in the shower now. Naked. Make your choice.
I'm bringing the tv in with me.
He was hammered and shot his pistol into the lawn. Next thing I know sheriffs are at our house with M4s. He likes to party
New life goal: fuck in the shopping cart
Worst case: you're extra horny, have no control of your mouth or actions, and maybe murder someone. Child's play.
I just found those cheese sticks in my purse. Along with a handful of confetti.
I'm nothing if not determined to sleep with everyone at that company
Gonna try and have sex in the empire state bldg, will tell you how it goes
I kept screaming that he looked like Khal Drogo and rode around the bar on his back.
dude the dog literally grabbed the condom out of the trash can and threw it in the air i'm screaming
Boredom is so much more tolerable when you're stoned off your ass.
Randomize
