I have two girls sleeping in my bed naked and I ended up making it to class, what were you saying about staying in on the weekdays?
He tried. I said no. He said, "It's ok if I do this?" and proceeded to jerk himself off. Oh, the French.
Judging by the grocery store, everyone stocked up on frozen pizza and beer for the blizzard. If our generation ever faces doomsday, we'll go out smiling.
Just facebooked the guy whose name you're yelling in there. So you're aware, his interests include "swearing at babies" and "Ice luge"
Make the kitchen floor stop waving. Im trying to lay on it
You were outside cuddling a rock singing Bohemian Rhapsody.
He literally named all the parts of the vagina as he fingered me. No more pre-med virgins.
The crooked penis I maybe could have looked past...but no foreplay? Deal breaker.
It was easier that asking where the vagina platter is.
The only person who DOESN'T think it's a horrible idea to sleep with my ex is my therapist. Obviously I trust her judgement above all others.
His birthday is on Valentines Day, of course he's getting a blowjob
It just so happens all of their names are Ryan, so I never have to change whose name I moan.
please god let this picture I just uploaded not have my vagina in it
I know it's New Year's Eve but if you're going to have a bunch of chicks playing strip go fish in our apartment I need a heads up.
Got any extra dick over there? I’m running low
Randomize