My sheets at my parents place are clean. No braveheart but I can paint myself, yell "freedom", and sword fight you with my cock. So come over.
I want your puppy
I meant pussy
I would rather you take my puppy
i just noticed 4 flies in my red wine. i drank them.
He walked in and put an x made out of tape on the floor. He then announced that he was going to pass out there. Cocky or strategic?
Will you trust fall hold me, so I can pee of this building.
I went by my nickname in rehab. It made it feel more like summer camp.
I can not be a lesbian living on Beaverland.
Their children would look like the Michelin man and smell like chef Boyardee
i tried to break up pigeon sex because one looked too young to consent. fireball feminism ftw
I'm just sitting here drunk and eating peas because my life sucks
What happened last night and why am I partially covered in queso?
Hi. Tara tells me your sandwiches and stamina are substantial
I was legit late to work one day Bc it took me so long to get a good nude
I ordered from the drive thru as i was peeing on the menu
Sexual Dilemma - Covid Edition: Flirting with a cute frat boy. The Cougar in me wants to go back to his frat house and fuck his cocky brains out. The adult in me doesn’t want to get Covid and have to quarantine in a frat house for 2 weeks\n
Randomize
