Update. It gets worse. A) he's done viagra and B) he wears socks at all times.
A guy on the street just growled at me and said damnnnn. Sometimes it scares me how attractive i am.
I'm drinking bacardi out of her mom's eco-green starbucks mug and chasing it with her sister's "for track only" vitamin water. Hello suburbia
I'm coming over to use your dick. I need to take my aggression out on something. Hope that's cool.
Not complaining, but why is there a Russian chick downstairs making latkes?
he told me he's been faithful to his girlfriend and is gonna try to stay that way. challenge accepted.
I can't wait to find out the true size of his penis! Please maintain enough sobriety for an accurate report.
She told me that as long as she kept starring at the freckle on her arm she wouldnt throw up
She said we should all be mermaids since didn't breathe for 9 months inside our mothers. I want her logic.
I really hope you are not drunk feeding a raccoon.
First thing on my "to do" list- get sober for community service.
My plan to masturbate 34 times on my 34th birthday backfired. Do you still have those crutches?
We're fucking and Lee Greenwood God Bless the USA comes on and he came. It was the most Roll Tide America moment of my life.
Hes done the math! Hes calculated how much sex it's going to take to fuck 365 miles. Now thats a little brother im proud of. New resolutions are a go!
i tried giving myself a bikini wax.1. i hate you 2. i think i'm dying
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