Thats not how I planned it, its just the way she passed out
im using old socks as coasters. im going to make a great housewife.
Yeah he kicked my ass... He probably wouldnt have hit me as hard though if I wasnt lauging and yelling " I fucked your sister I fucked your sister" over and over again.
So recap time do u remember biting that girls hand?
I was the one passing out cake at the bars
If I'm going to start compromising my butthole it's going to be for much better drugs than a ventolin
Imagine getting a FB inbox "hey I found your ID on the floor of a bar can you send me a mugshot so I can get a second piece of ID made?"
We could all 3 jump out of a cake in just tophats. A true marble cake.
Hit a new low. I'm FB stalking him while he is lying in bed sleeping naked next to me. He fell asleep with FB still open and unlocked on his iPad.
I'm gunna send you baby bottles of vodka for those nights when you just give up
You're the horniest male I have ever encountered
Makes it sound like you're a scientist documenting your discoveries. I warned you.
Just walked by the neighbors and they are definitely butt naked sitting on a bed, watching Netflix, baked out of their minds, with the blinds open.
Welcome to Bellingham.
You fell asleep mid blowjob with my vibrator in your HAND. So no, I will not bring you pizza.
I'm a lady who knows what she wants in life, and that's uncommitted dick.
Finally hooked up with Ryan. Now I know why they call him “Beast Mode”. So. Many. Orgasms.
Randomize
