You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
Instead of peeing my cute lil blue panties I peed in the train parking lot in front of an asian.
The walk of shame isn't so shameful when you do it in a stolen, autographed Favre jersey.
Just so we both are on the same page, I have no solid plans as to where I'll be sleeping tonight.
he came and i only had my diet coke to rinse.. can you say coke float?
Why are there maracas in the dishwasher?
Sitting on an airplane reeking of booze, sex and shame while surrounded by families coming home from Disney. This is not one of my finer moments.
And after we debated politics. My dream come true: naked, just got done having great sex with a hot mixed guy, talking about why social welfare programs are a bad idea
Okay. This morning the comforter was wet, you were underwearless and using a tiny blanket. What'd you do??
Both guys that I'm dating were waiting for me in the parking lot after work. Literally the most awkward situation I have ever been in
tinder day one and i already had more guys message me about "the girl with the big tits in my second picture" than about me. MY 17 YEAR OLD SISTER CAN GET LAID WITHOUT EVEN HAVING TO MAKING A PROFILE
to be fair she does have a great rack
I think I swiped left on my soulmate
Of two things I'm absolutely sure: 1. I only took 2 hits off that joint and 2. I definitely ran over hedwig on the way home
This is bullshit, I shit my pants for the 1st time in 30 years, stuck on the 405, fuck this shit.
Depends
Sitting in the dr office she literally looked at my throat and goes have you been having oral intercourse
Randomize
