I will die if light touches me.
fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
Do you have a shampoo for semen
Or a time machine
The chick I went home with last night had a happy trail
Strippers tramp stamp says "mom"
he's legally blind and likes the sound of my voice, good enough for me.
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
He's sobering up. It was really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together.
It was at that moment that I realized I was alone. Alone and drunk on an Epcot ride.
REALLY should have cleaned under my bed before I had my parents come help me pack...things my parents just found: several condoms and a bottle of lube. My mom when she found a condom: "ooo ribbed. Laura's a lucky girl"
We found him. He was passed out in a McDonalds booth with at least 6 big Mac wrappers. The employee said he kept yelling that he was in America and had the freedom to have big macs. Fucking Italians...
There is what appears to be urine on the woman's bathroom sink. I just have so many questions right now.
Since when is my clitoris pierced?
she went outside...danced, got some snow, and put cherry vodka in it. she was so proud of herself.
You know that thing where you wouldn't typically eat ass but you're in love with him so you want to eat his ass, because it's HIS ass
Randomize
