Lets evaluate? U kissed one boss and lef twith another man. I cock teased the other, hardcore had a tongue jammed down my throat, made out w aa third then left in a cab w alex w them all yelling at me and offering rides. My cheek was also licked and bitten by 2 other men and we almost made out (u and me) because they asked. were hired.
i was rollin on her like bob the builder
your stepbrother is rimming his martinis with coke... keeps saying "thank god its tuesday". where does funemployment end and intervention begin?
its totally unfair that im just as ill-prepared as a 16 year old but there's no tv show for 25 and pregnant.
it's official, after last weekend my girl number is higher than my guy number. fix this.
Tell me you didn't have sex with my dad.
raced the clock twice to day to see if i could get off before my computer died and before i left for my noon bar crawl... win, win
lets go back to having secrets in our friendship
There's a homeless man outside the bar. I have a toothbrush and toothpaste in my car. I think i'm going to give them to him. And they said drinking is bad.
You're so thoughtful.
How is there no taco emoji?! That's some bullshit.
Goddamnit Shari. He's not called Pencil Dick because he's good a sketching...
I'm going to give you the best blowjob of your life. And yes you can use my mom's printer.
If I don't get struck by a lightning bolt from God by midnight it will be a Christmas miracle.
Basically we had a threesome in one room and a fivesome in the next room. Its what I like to call a win win situation.
I'm going to tell you something and I want no judgement because it's america day and I'm wearing an American flag bathing suit but...I woke up in a yard.
it’s my vagina i can do what i want to
Randomize
