It's just you. You wear the fuck me fedora and wear baller shorts, hollywood hippie who thinks she is shakira when she's drunk.
I owe all of my success to double stuf oreos and weed.
For those pictures, I will suffer this headache.
this kid just offered me adderall in exchange for my meal points. college at its finest
This is to remind you the pizza is in the dishwasher birthday boy eat it before it goes on
You are softly singing to the wall while slow dancing with it. I feel as though you should discontinue this behavior.
I'm working on finding a bottomless situation. Both pants and mimosas.
Regardless of age or alcohol consumption, the knowledge that my dad spanks my mom sexually has the very real potential to fuck my shit up.
Amanda bynes is my spirit animal
had a dream that i inhaled my pet bird and started choking. Then I tried smoking from a bong and suddenly I smoked myself inside out. this is what happens when I don't smoke weed. my brain can't function!
How about we just have a naked taco night instead?
Meanwhile I'm googling glory holes in Vegas
He put rainforest music on before we had sex I felt like I was in the Amazon
I just bought sparkling water with plan B. I am the most basic bitch to ever exist.
I texted him: “Come over for the Super Bowl. I promise lots of scoring.”
My divorce is turning into a porn script
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