Is it necrophilia if we're both dead?
Every time he makes fun of me for anything I just remind myself he ate ice cream out of a strippers vagina
Some girl in the stall next to me just yelled "fuck yes i started my period!" she came out of the stall and we high fived. who am i to judge? i do that every month.
there are too many children here to make this hangover-friendly
At what point in my life was I not hugged enough to be on my fourth walk of shame in half as many weeks?
Stripper pole. Sore legs. More vaca money.
Just asking. Could've given you a lap dance in a sombrero, drenched in corona and tequila.
God Bless cinco de mayo
We found you in the middle of the road chucking gravel because "the house was too far away".
She who has the vag holds all the power. He will learn one way or the other.
Sex on acid. Try it. I thought we were fucking in outer space with fireworks inside a rocketship car. Best.
just woke up on my patio with a mouse eating cheetos off mys chest. youre all assholes.
I need to stop acting like a porn star that isn't getting paid
It's official cum is not a great leave in conditioner
You've discovered your super power: Your Vagina
Nah leave him alone, he is at the strip club with his mom.
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