I just found a beer bottle in my xmas tree while disassembling it. God, I'm going to miss the holidays.
i refuse to live in a world where loud threesomes in your own apartment are referred to as "rude"
did you yell "are you not entertained?"
well you haven't lived until you've been 86'ed from a family restaraunt
i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
You know what sound is wonderful for a hangover? Listening to the horns from the South Africans at the world cup
When I come over I'm bringing "Socky" the Alcoholism Prevention puppet, today he is going to tell you boys about his FAVORITE word---its called "moderation"
Walking into the first day of college is like walking into a meat market. A meat market of sex.
Sorry, I was unaware dragging you upstairs for sex was such an awful thing.
Please assure him that the flying penis statue is for display purposes only.
Not my type, but the penis looks fun.
fuck you I'm eating salad I can't be drunk.
My move is emasculating men with my superior intellect and it's not as charming when they can't see my huge rack.
I'm pretty sure he sprained my clit...
But once you are just right and I work my tongue in the right spots and hot wax your balls and inner thighs. I will have you right where I want you.
Who is this?
Oops wrong number
i made that whipped coffee shit today. took six pouches of instant espresso.
please tell me you didn’t consume six shots of espresso
:)
i can feel colors
Randomize
