You wanna call me after your homoerotic shower?
Oh no, it isn't official until she poops.
There's guys at my school running around throwing potatoes shouting "remember the famine." makes me proud to be Irish.
She used the word "fragged" in proper context. tell me that's not bust-nut hot.
I always know the weekend is over when the real license comes out and the fake goes back into the hiding spot.
Counseling BFF to break up with her BF. We will get that 3-way
All I remember is him trying to go down on me, but I guess I was too busy making out with his brother
Your cat is quite the conversationalist after some tequila and shrooms
You're the only true friend I have, if true friendship is based off who would be there for me at 4am during a boxed wine crisis.
We have bigger issues at hand... Does anybody know someone in the kalamazoo area that is missing a pair of stilts ?
I told a 250 pound football player I would catch him if he jumped into my arms. And that is how I broke my wrist
I never thought I'd have to apologize for tasting like absinthe and cheetos before tonight
I wish I could accurately explain the embarrassment of standing in your bathroom with women's nair on your ass waiting to get in the shower.
Nothing like being naked and confused and clutching a scented candle...at least I woke up in my own bed though.
I will take a ruler to your dick so help me god
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