Asian hipster sighting. About to tackle him and ask him to take me to chinatown
Is it because I queefed?
he drank a monster margarita at dinner. had to ask me if it was dollars or minutes that ended in 60.
He;s fine. He just kept saying "hurricane Gordon is coming to shore" and flexed his muscles a lot.
You didn't even properly utilize my pigtails.
I was just laying in bed wondering if there's more important things in life than cheese stuffed pretzels.
We told her to calm down. She said "I'm Buddha!". Then army crawled to the cooler for more vodka.
I let that bitch know in no uncertain terms I was taking the coke dealer in the breakup
but we were going camping. it only made sense to bring the 6 ft bong
Hey. Im sorry to bother you but I just watched the seinfield episode about faking an orgasm and it caused me to second guess myself. Were you satisfied?
If the sex wasn't incredible why would I compare it to cheesy tots
You would think by the size of the lump on my ass that I would have remembered falling down a flight of stairs.
Our house drank 90 beers yesterday afternoon before 8pm so add that to the list
so.. he paid for my flight to vegas, took me to shows, bought my drinks and STILL rescued my drunk ass after i ditched him. i HAD to cuddle with him this morning.. fair exchange, right?!
I stole a block of cheese from the party last night and put it in my purse but I got so drunk that I left my purse on the floor and my dog ate it.
Randomize
