Blackout barefoot maybe pregnant
Good decisions....
Just got blue box Mac and cheese things are looking up
we were so high we made up an elaborate backstory because we were paranoid about going into the wig shop w/o being serious wig shoppers
New game: Step 1) Turn on ESPN. Step 2) Drink every time someone says "LeBron."
This just became a night full of adventures...and by adventures I mean hitting people with my car
So the old dude that tried to fight me is definitely Katie's dad. And the pot cookie's kicking in. Shit is getting weird.
It's just good to know that when I drink like a twenty year old I still act like one.
Found an old burrito under my bed
You are a sick fuck
He carried around a bottle of jäger the whole night and when everyone thought the cops came, he started doing push ups in the middle of the floor cause he said it calmed him down.
I tolerate his mediocre drunk sex for the mind blowing morning sex. More than worth it.
I don't think tits should taste like fish.
Like tbh you're not doing anything that screams I'm drunk and yet nothing says I'm going to spend $30 on McDonalds and make out with a stranger like that picture
If my vagina was a person it would have a bandage around its head and it's arm in a sling rn
He fucked me so hard my hair extensions fell out
We had sex then laid in his bed eating chocolate and drinking juice boxes. I think I'm going to keep him around.
Yeah. I got a Tetnus shot then partied like it was 1999.
Randomize
