you went to subway and got pissed when they refused to deep fry your sub
I'd suck anything for a pizza right now
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
I thought I would take a shower to wake me up but now I'm naked wet and stoned laying on my bed instead of just stoned laying on my bed
Were taking his cast off tonite. Need a saw and a gameplan. Meet us at rosies in 30.
Is it sad that i just saw my moms thumb on the table & i instinctively put mine down cuz i thought she was thumbmaster?
Of dear god, I've been waiting to have rug burn like this since I got bored of my vibrator 2 months ago
I don't want anything to do with the Darth Vader stripper babe. I'm just trying to make dreams come true.
This is going to be the time I got green body paint on Chris' ceiling all over again...
We had sex on the beach. I was completely naked except for my sneakers. That's when you know
You didn't try to help me when I fell on the dance floor. She brought me cupcakes. You're a shitty friend, suck your own dick.
He shampooed and conditioned his pubes but can't manscape for shit.
Anyone would get lost in that field after that much vodka. Trust me... I kind of feel like superman considering I even made it home. Most people would've been face down in a random oilfield. Not this guy.
This is Ryan, Kristin's husband. I don't know if you meant to send that pic to me at 3am. You may want to call Kristin. Neat piercing though.
I think a major source of concern would be the fact you snorted a shot. Who does that?
Randomize
