I need a shot of tequila, and quick death
You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
Pish posh, there's never a bad time to eat food off my body.
$3 wine plus diet sprite does not make good champagne.
does taste better than andre tho
Sorry for making you give strangers a ride for hits of acid.
It was a two-sided wall so part of my body ended up in someone elses condo.
i think he just broke into a bike shop his last text said something about hiding in some tree
Then you started asking people on the drunk bus if they knew the word "gumption". if they didn't you told them they weren't taking advantage of their high education opportunities and you were disappointed in them.
it's graduation. he's gonna get congratulations slash emotional i cant believe youre leaving me sex.
What people don't tell you about near death experiences is they give you a full on chub
I'm a terrible friend...i should have come right over instead of having sex for an hour and a half. :/ want anything from burger king?
I'll admit it. It was a bad idea to sneak a fart out while she was taking a nap. Can you bring me a pair of underwear from my dresser. Preferably the one with the walruses in party hats one.
So besides your brother walking in on you shaving and singing "I'm gonna get asssss" how was your night
Just found a rebirth in peppermint schnapps. May be able to stay up all night and finish this paper after all. MERRY CHRISTMAS
THEY WILL NOT STOP FLINGING CARDS AROUND THE ROOM! It has been four hours. HOW CAN IT STILL BE ENTERTAINING?!?! I will be under the table if you need me.
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