i just compared eating a chick out to "gargling a cheeto"
I could be a Disney star with the amount of nude photos of mine that get leaked.
the reason why you were crawling on your hands and knees from room to room last night was because you thought the ceiling fans were chasing you...
that makes sense.
I put the beer in my little red riding hood basket.
Should study in library more often, procrasturbating is less of an option.
I need a DD tuesday morning around 9 AM
I'm scared to ask why.....
1st bikini wax. Jose Cuervo is helping me prepare.
Hey so I just want to get straight to the point it was me who ate the last cupcake and it was your sister who I fucked last nigt
We see some guy emerge from the forest on the island this morning, alone, in only a snuggie. Morning shots and bagels on us for the number one walk of shame.
Hon, I found you crying into a bathrobe in the back of a closet with a broken shoerack.
My drug dealer just made me weigh out my own weed because he was in the middle of taking his law enforcement final
So are we just not going to talk about the time I came home to you jerking it in the kitchen?
he's been dating her for 18 months and cheating on her with me for 16. if that's not commitment, i don't know what is.
I told him he looked like my uncle.
Why would you say that in a bathtub?
All I'm saying is there better be a bow on your dick for my birthday
Campus scavenger hunt! and by scavenger hunt I mean all the pharmacies are sold out of Plan B.
Randomize
