When the phrase "Wow your huge" came out of her mouth I knew it was gonna be a good night.
State Street has never looked so beautiful than during my walk of shame.
Just saw 3 10-year olds in business suits drinking iced coffees at the cafe. I'm officially a failure if these kids have jobs and I don't.
Just an fyi, teatherball while wasted might be the hardest sport ever.
He must be back home now. He moved his box of beer from her porch to ours.
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
We both bought three foot bongs...going to race to see who can smoke a mile first.
I think my hand is broken. But his nose definitely is
Just used the leftover candycorn for candycorn vodka. Our house is trying to continue the Halloween spirit for as long as possible.
Bailing my boss from jail at five in the morning.. If thats not a promotion I don't what is.
How fast can you get here?\nI need to ride your cock into the sunset.
I'm crying watching Rihanna at the VMAs. Periods are a bitch
Gez, you make a couple noises and all of the sudden your the loud girl.
I kept screaming that he looked like Khal Drogo and rode around the bar on his back.
last night you said that you wanted to hold my dick as you slept because it was like having a stuffed animal.
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