sorry about calling you the devil all night.
I was still in a towel. We hadn't even started drinking yet and the champagne bottle dropped and exploded literally up into my vagina.
CHAZ BONO WILL BE ON THE NEXT SEASON OF DANCING WITH THE STARS.
Internet Is back!
MY NEWS TRUMPS YOURS.
They evidently had to pull his penis out of me while we were passed out on the floor.
I'm really having trouble focusing on shark week with this erection
The best part about this city is obvious. Someone saw me crouching by a bar pissing in my leftover Panera bread bowl and they just winked.
WHY IS HE GONE WHEN I ACTUALLY HAVE THE AMOUT OF ESTROGEN TO HUMP A SQUIRREL?!?!
I asked what you thought of her and you replied not the biggest I have had
I missed rounds this morning...my senior resident hooked me up to and IV and made me stay in the clinic because he said I didn't look presentable enough to walk around the hospital
Our motto for the night: BLACK OUT OR BACK OUT.
That's our motto every night.
You brought a jar of mayonnaise to bed. It doesn't get any worse than that.
Nothing warms my heart more than the sight of a naked hockey player in my bed.
Call it slutty but I take pride in being a first round draft pick booty call. And I know I was first cause he texted me at 1030a
I just watched someone put a diaper on a cat..I'm to high for this.
so we’ve decided to fuck for our own health
Randomize
