Small Doughy Asian men and sleeveless hoodies with nothing underneath do not mix well.
Sounds like the climatic scene of my favorite erotic novel.
I feel like my whole life has been one big pre-game for Mexico.
She bit me. She gave me a brief pity cuddle. I gave her an awkward backrub, somehow I thought it would be a good idea to include the vagina in that. It wasn't.
I just saw my first passed out person, sprawled out on the sidewalk like they died. I wanted to take a pic but I thought that screamed "tourist"
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
on my way to nyc to take a survey about my sexual activity. if you dont hear from me for a few days, assume they had me committed...
its the kind of night you break several limbs and say you were lucky
Maybe I'll make your dreams come true and pee on you tomorrow.
I feel like I shouldn't have to explain to you why giving your cat weed was a bad idea.
I may or may not have told him that he's "the only one with a PHD in this pussy"... I should like direct cheesy porno flicks or something.
I'm ashamed and embarrassed. Unless we get drunk and have random sex with people we will never see again we might lose ourselves.
Dude true life I died at the derby...I lost everyone I knew, went down a bourbon and mud slip and slide, lost my hat, fell off the roof of a porta potty, sprained my ankle and knee and then got arrested.
Dude, I passed out on the side walk, lost my phone and shirt, and walked 12 miles home after I disappeared from the club
Got to work this morning and thought... Did I really dance on that pole last night
dont you DARE use my tequila influenced words against me
Randomize
