And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
I wish Michael J Fox could read me bedtime stories
He could rock you to sleep
Nothing screams don't date me louder then having your baby as your profile pic
Walked by a shop giving away free donuts this morning. Best walk of shame ever
she tried strangling devon with the garden hose. pretty sure they're broken up
No, I know her type. Tall, lanky, uses teeth when giving head, and runs like a giraffe. Don't do it man..
I'm offering you baseball tickets and my vagina, isn't that enough?
If I'm going to start compromising my butthole it's going to be for much better drugs than a ventolin
If I come back tomorrow to find a certain football player tied up and locked in your closet, shit's gonna get real.
I'll set him free tomorrow morning ;)
She was giving me head while we were in my tree house, my mom then came out to let the dog out so she stopped so I would stop groaning, was it good? You tell me
I am in serious pain and you're making dick jokes. I hope you wind up with crotch rot.
Found her grinding on my boss with her tongue down her throat last night. Guess who just got promoted!
I had a dream involving the worlds smallest pony, an asphalt volcano, and jimi hendrix. Never smoking 3 bowls before bed again
It’s only loud for those who wanna get loud. The bowlers are protected.
FINE I guess I'll just drink regular coke like a PLEBIAN.
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