i have to go see a new gyno today. he's a male. i just took 3 shots of tequila. its almost like freshman year... drink alcohol, meet a strange man, let him play with my vagina.
went out last night and woke up on the bathroom floor again, thinking about just moving my bed in there.
The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
you haven't felt a hangover until you wake up after a night of snorting tequila.
despite contrary belief, getting peanut butter off your balls is not as easy as it sounds
I asked my mom if I was the drunkest one in the room. With 8 days till I go back to school, I couldn't care less about being shitfaced at a baptism
i just ate a whole pizza and threw it back up in the time span of 13 minutes. give me the number to guiness book of world records.
so I'm coping with getting the "I'm not over my ex" bomb dropped on me by getting drunk and yelling at people while wearing a purple princess hat
Now he's trying to use the tornado warnings as an excuse to get head. Yeah, b/c THAT'S the last taste I want in my mouth b4 I die...
Why does She think it's her duty to welcome in freshman through the welcome mat that is her vagina
should I tell them that both of them had sex with me last Saturday? it might be a relationship builder type of thing you know?
I appreciate you letting me know that the bird died but why didn't you do something about the corpse? or at least give me a heads up that it was still in the cage..Jesus
you have no idea how hungover I am. I can't deal with death right now.
You yelled "Shame!" like you were that bitch from Game of Thrones and then hit my balls full force with your sports bra
i black out too much to be "responsible"
She told me the next morning I stared at her tits for like 15 minutes with binoculars from only a few seats away.
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