The bar is filled with bros right now. Sucks I had to pay $5 to find that out.
I feel odd... a had sex with a chick and she keept her socks on...
Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
You were parading around the bar chugging girls drinks and then asking them if you could buy them a drink. It was actually genius
i purposely bought her a small sweater. My way of saying, you've gotten fat.
Doctor took one look at my penis and said, 'you don't have herpes, you just masturbate too much'
Checked out the free sonogram van on campus and got a free DVD of my sweet food baby.
Just told him about my threesome. if that doesn't make him want to date me nothing will.
Don't upload the drink o meter to your google calendar. Somehow binge drinking looks even worse with a time stamp.
That awkward moment when the dude you blew on camera in college friend requests you on Facebook.
Who is this?!????
That awkward moment when you think you're texting a friend the above statement, but instead you text a stranger.
You know, I think when I have a lot of free time, thats when I pick up odd lovers. Maybe keeping busy is key to not using my vagina
I didn't know White Castle was open when your sober.
The dysfunction is strong in this one.
I'm sitting at my kitchen table alone dressed as a dinosaur smoking bowls in the dark. Is this rock bottom? Or is this living the dream? Who's to say
He was like the most intimidating looking guy you've seen in your life except he was really shittily doing the two step
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