Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy!
you opened the fridge, pissed on the food, fell over, then threw up on yourself. thats whats all over the kitchen.
Lost is over, my longest committed relationship is coming to an end.
It's really awkward/depressing when you are wearing heels larger than his dick
Apparently I took one a huge picture off the wall at the bar and was walking around dancing with it..
And drunk me decided to play keep away with sober me's dignity
also, i am in no position to judge as my life choices today went along the lines of "YAY VODKA". for breakfast.
He came when Ron Burgundy started playing the jazz flute. How do you think it went?
At some point, it turned less into sparring and more into tough guy dry humping.
Just so you know the unusual amount of skittles on your floor is entirely your own fault. You bought me 20 bags of them while I was high.
"This must be what Jayden Smith feels like all the time"
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
He finger blasted me like an angel dude
I had such a bad bruise on my knees from blowing him so much, he asked if he could sign it...
Turns out naked twister is less fun than it sounds. I can never look Lee in the eye again. But Aimee's boobs are glorious.
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