He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
A freshman just woke up on our back pourch... He swears there was a party here last night but we didn't have one
I'm naming my child veloci raptor. And you can be a part of its life if you want. But that's its name. Cause i have the vagina.
can't wait for January to be Over so I don't have to see all the fat resolutionists working out.
He was going down on me as I discovered a spaghetti-O on my boob. Its been a while since I faked it.
at wine tasting. Can i cleanse my Palate with a frito?
I was out with the drag queens until 7am. This is the hangover I needed to kick my ass back to sobriety. Dear Virgin Mary, fuck my life.
I think I'm still drunk and I think you were in my dream (sadly, it was not a sexual bill murray one).
The amount of guys who just came into the room to give me a high five after hooking up with him was about 5 too many.
Is it bad that all my wine bottles have teeth marks in the cork?
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
Got caught peeing in public. Sucks. It was a police station. Sucks worse.
She woke up next me in bed and told me to stop driving so fast.
Every day I wake up and there is no spectacular morning wood waiting for me I get so sad.
Remember those two guys in our frat that would no homo everything? I just got an invitation to their wedding.
Randomize
