i messed up with two guys last night...one i pranked and left the phone on..the other one i went crazy on trying to be his girlfriend after four jagermeister shots...
Dan is more possessive of me than a Michael Jackson is of McCully Caulkin
was*
True, R.I.P.
then she said "on the count of three I think we should apologize to eachother"
I think call of duty has replaced my masturbating. And I'm alright with that.
He asked me why my bellybutton was so ugly... and wondered why i wasnt in the mood anymore.
I came home drunk to my night light on and a Hershey's bar on my bed. Mom knows me too well.
Just got a event reminder on my phone to never party with you again.
Dude. Zebras have bad attitudes.
Sexting across continents is really a perfect example of how far technology has come.
Head-banging is a very stupid way to injur yourself. But this opinion is also coming from somebody who can't walk right because they cut their asshole shaving last night, so it probably has little to no merit.
My boobs are numb because I've been using them as stress balls
so my dads pretending to use the snow blower and theres absolutley no snow one the ground.... someone should really lock our liqour cabinet
roommate singing save a horse ride a cowboy wearing a cowboy hat a bikini and jeans while humping the couch.
Does it still count as a threesome if one girl left halfway through cause we were having too much sex?
Fuck you for even being able to ask that question
Im going for myspace 2006 goth bitch. Your worst nightmare
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