its good for cellulite if you don't wear underwear. its true
I'm not going to blow you while you look at fish on the internet.
I know i'm drunk when the "men" sign on the bathroom sounds chinese
can you come get me at the bar
ill be there in 10 min
can we stop off at build a bear on the way home
just got a rotting pancake and bacon in the mail from your address....
He did a line, told me my hair looked pretty against the background of the clouds, and then we fucked. Good afternoon
Less talking, more tequila
I just had a flash of me drinking straight vodka out of a condom...
Your dad just texted me? He said I needed to holler at him when I get up tomorrow. I honestly thought you had somehow gone to jail.
We put your drunk ass to bed. 10 minutes later we heard you scream "DICK-PUNCH!!!" It was immediately followed by a shriek of pain and crying. So to answer your question; no, that's not "sex soreness".
Did you seriously just hashtag my sex life as #yolo2013?
who has a one night stand on Christmas ? But he's pretty attractive so thumbs up
The part where he comes over and ignores you isn't what makes me mad about that story... It's the fact that he ate your tacos, AND THEN proceeded to ignore you. That's cold hearted.
It's probably not a good thing when it isn't even 6:30 and I've already drank an entire bottle of wine. By myself. I'm watching Spice World and I just bought 2 Spice Girls albums off itunes.
Make that 3 Spice Girls albums.
We had sex in Lake Michigan for an hour Sunday.
Thanks for ruining an entire lake for me. I hate you so much right now.
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