apparently they started giving me water shots and i couldnt tell the difference
the quote on the bathroom wall was "stop reading this and focus on peeing" and i realized i'd peed on the seat.
Slut skills are useful in every country.
Dude, she literally stopped, mid fuck said "I want soup" got off my dick and make top ramen.
I thought making out with his sister would be a great way of meeting him. But it backfired.
Being drunk at the hospital is better than i expected. I got to hide and play in the little kids waiting area. Btw no one is hurt
Just saw my bank statement. It literally goes liquor store pizza place liquor store pizza place bar bar bar liquor store pizza place 711 for snacks withdrawl for drugs rinse and repeat
I cant feel my face. Like I dont even know if I have one. I wish I had a helmet
I tried to make friends with the geese living behind Hughes. They didn't really like that idea.
Are you high?
i'm not even sure i have knees anymore. that awesome.
Was my mother there when I broke the stipper pole?
Thanks for setting a pic of your balls as my desktop background. You'll find you're cc'ed on the mass email of it.
Its so bad though\nOur relationship has gotten to the point where im posing nude with a swiffer
He finally delivered on the dick pic, and Jesus Christ, it was worth the wait.
I'm sorry I walked in on you guys, but all I heard from outside was her screaming "Dive, dive!". Sex was my last guess for what was going on in there.
Randomize
