too bad you live with your parents still
You don't think I'm weird or immature right?
No I think it's cute we had sex on your Bob the Builder sheets
MRIs the morning after St. Patty's Day was a poor choice.
The Masters... another excuse to excessivly start drinking by 1
Seriously... There's something wrong here. I'm drinking vodka to mask the smell of chocolate on my breath before I get home and he finds out. I fucking hate couple dieting...
Dude i'm seriously thinking about his nipples.
Uhh, there's a legit bruise on my boob.. Again how does he manage this
She. Own s my pussycat. Roxk it like. The sun hitting the horizon
last night he took my thong off with his teeth... god bless champagne
I feel like I just gave a blowjob to a freight train.
Dude, I lost my shirt, and my doorknob is gone. I'm not sure which I should find first
Vagic. Defined as a kind of magic one has over a girl's vagina. Used in a sentence... he's an accomplished vagician.
During sex his mom asks from the other side of the door, "Do you like avocados?" Who doesn't like avocados?
Like I just asked Greg why I don't have a crown for my vagina. That drunk.
Also I just had a pointless meeting and the only thing I accomplished were my kegals
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