at a bar and heard one girl tell another her tampon string was showing she goes i dont want it in anymore anyways. then proceeds to pull out her tampon in the middle of the bar and leave it on a plate. ewwww
im pretty sure every drug dealer is going to be able to retire the day after alice in wonderland comes out
i DID NOT walk around with my knees bent and my hands behind my back with long spandex and underarmour pretending to be Apollo Ono
Hey cutie is the game almost over? I'm making dinner for us it'll be ready soon. Xox
You would rather make fucking dinner than watch a hockey game that rivals the epic-ness of miracle, the one of the biggest upsets in sport history? Babe I don't know if I can date a girl with such terrible priorities.
I cant believe Lindsay Lohan feels like this every day
Also, do you think you think his dick is perfect bc you loved him? Or is it actually perfect?
he was wearing ninja turtle pajamas and he STILL got laid. who the fuck is this guy?!
I dont have any paper so I'm writing class notes on my first response direction pregnancy paper. Judging eyes are all around.
whiskey
stop
tequila
you're fuckin up my ability to be a agrown up
Whoever owns the butter that i always steal out of the office fridge definitely put THC butter in there this time. Shit just got real.
id one day like to live in a world full of emotionless and wonderfully fullfilling sex...
Everywhere I look there's another kitten this is so ideal
Can I live on acid? Kittens man. Kittens.
When you make me feel sane and well-adjusted, it is time to reevaluate your night out habits. Just sayin'.
You haven't lived until you have fucked while Fantasia is on
I think I sent pictures of my boobs to an Olympic athlete...
Randomize
