Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
i'm almost one hundred percent positive that i have a warrant out for my arrest in this city. i also don't give a fuck because im drinking TEQUILAAAA
I will be horny for about another two hours. Feel free to call me until then.
false alarm. still invincible.
He just became a fan of Chelsea Handler on Facebook. WHY DO I ALWAYS PICK THE GAY ONE
So you walked 4 miles to get home but stopped by the store first to get a vegetable tray? How drunk were you?
I don't have the urge to be a home-wrecker with these two. I think I've grown, don't you?
Hes the only one i know who can talk to a girl for an entire hour abuot the science in starwars and still get laid.
I'm at work, and just realized I the beer smell I keep getting random whiffs of is my bra. I fail at life.
This day sucks. I just wanna play ostrich and bury my head in your boobs.
Well I can't be held accountable to know every which time you slid a finger here or slid a finger there. I'm way too busy getting close to climaxing to document these things.
Thanks for your faith in my ability to stay sober while writing final essays. It's...unearned.
I broke another vibrator the other day. Abstinence is not for me.
We damn well better have a snow day tomorrow. We just broke out the rum.
come on Dane.. ive been there. im like the female version of you, except with morals
Randomize
