i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
Also how the fuck did i get like 30 brown napkins
Working on an important paper into the wee hours of the morning, and every time I type the word "situation," I can't help but think of effing Jersey Shore. Those guidos are now ruining my academic life.
the way i see it him paying 500 bucks for my fake abortion is karma's way of punishing him for cheating on his wife
Just had to pull out another loan to pay for that public drunkenness citation. I am so ready to graduate.
He like walks around to open car doors for me. Has already held my hair while I barf and still likes me. What. Is. Happening.
Apple should advertise that their phones are puke-proof. They would appeal to a whole new audience.
Its not college unless your study breaks were to go throw up from blacking out the night before
Another memory: We offered for a stranger to live in our house under the condition that he took the garbage out because it's a 'blue' job.
We are the best.
Ps. We need to take the garbage out.
Going through Bojangles drive thru chanting "KFC" hammered at 8:00 was the highlight.
Oh damn it. Let me get a beer. I can't take anymore bad news. Hold on.
I'm drunk. And I'm alone. Eating chicken fingers in my underwear. I'd say life is grand.
Pretty sure the delivery guy saw me taking a shit this morning
the universe is starting to freak me out.. ive now had sex with 3 people who were born on the same day..
ok morning sex is a totally valid reason to come in late... ur good, cya in 20
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