Porn is love you can see.
Trust me, I wear more condoms than socks. I wouldn't risk infecting my cock. It's my livelyhood.
oh great. kentucky is ranked #1 in the country for child abuse. go us.
I was mid-pee and he walked in, claimed he was looking for his phone, and then asked if we could hook up since we were finally alone.
so yall hooked up?
You asked my mom "who the fuck drives four hours to sleep in a guys bed and not touch his penis"
I was pretending that it wasn't happening. Until we had to roll down the windows as she was vomiting apologies into a Target bag.
This is your typical drubkba Amy test. Shout out to jisus for auto correct
apparently i walked around all last night forcing people to beer bong whatever drink was in their hand. so far this morning ive had three people refer to me as beer bong man
Am I really that girl who walks around half naked wearing a cowboy hat begging for liquor at some random guys house
So after he broke the crutches and got us kicked out of McDonalds, we stole a bike and when we got back to the hotel, he jumped out the window into the bushes.
Yeah when he is drunk, he seems to think he is Captain Americas Canadian counterpart, Captain Canuck
I think having a vagina should be considered a skill, give me a break.
I wanna send them a card but I don't think hallmark makes a "sorry your fiance and another girl blew me at the same time in a frat house but congrats!" card
I made it crystal clear I'm only upset because he's not anywhere fit to be a father of my unborn zygote
Trump won PA by a fucking landslide. If only Cruz hadn't eaten that booger.
If it were up to me his wife would never get his penis again, but I guess they have some sort of arrangement
Yes, an arrangement called marriage
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