Just saw a motorized bathtub. I think this college thing is gonna work out.
Someone wrote Kyle's bitch on me too. I dont even know who Kyle is.
I think im drinking tonight later on...which is good cuz i walked pass the liquor aisle the other day and i swear i heard a kid call me a pussy
and then he proceeded to take what he called, a whip cream shower.
I just want you to know if you wake up tomorrow morning and wreak of mustard, I was not involved.
Woke up this morning in a randoms bed clutching an airplane ticket. God I hope I'm still in the country
Dude, someone broke the toilet seat in two, the is a pair of panties on the kitchen counter, and the entire house smells like a brewery
Just made macaroni burritos. Fukkin awesome. We'll have to try this when I'm sober.,!
I am so juiced up on period drugs and coffee I feel like my skin is going to fall off.
I'm dressed in all sequins still at 9:30 in the morning and the worst part is that I actually still fit in in Vegas
What's Spanish for "I shouldn't have worn these underwear to work?"
well it was great until i saw his anime body pillow
It's not even 8pm on a Friday and I've already got a guy to tell me how big his penis is. Watched anything good on Netflix lately?
he's annoying when i'm sober but vaguely hot when i'm drunk so yes i do have a preference and it goes by the name of vodka
He's here walking around DRUNK AS FUCK in a Kobe Bryant number 8 jersey... Tucked in.
Randomize
