I start off june hungover/still drunk stumbling down my driveway with the trashcan at 6am..it's gonna be an interesting month
Fuck Jersey, the house im in is so baller but this state just cannot win.
I've done 29 out of the 30 things to do to a naked man according to Cosmo. I don't know if that makes me innovative or slutty.
Genius.
I have a love/hate relationship when men come within a 10 minute time frame.
I told him I wanted to have sex to "halleluiah", he suggested the poke-rap.
my debit card account is gonna say movie, movie, ice cream, movie, cheese fries, get a fucking life, movie
I've come to realize time passes slowest when I'm sitting in class, waiting for microwavable foods, working out, & giving head.
a girl just walked by me crying on the phone saying, "all I ever do is menstruate"
a small fire erupted but we put it out with a can of beer so everything's fine
I had to drink a couple beers this morning so I could attend the keg race. Hangover had to dissipate or it wasn't happening.
Yes ma'am. At least you're a warning story I can tell to my kids in the future
Drinking hard cider in a room full of freshman girls. Never felt so secure of my manhood
I probably wouldn't
You know you're an upperclassmen when you go to a party with no makeup, wet hair, weed socks, and no shoes, take a shot ski, then leave
My New Year's resolution is to chill out on the group sex. At least with my friends anyway.
My vagina likes him more than I do, but I’m going to follow her lead and see what happens
Randomize
