So how was he last night?
Five-minute foot-long.
We stole some shitttt from king sooper's. fuck yeaaa
what did you steal
frozen pizza, cat litter, and preperation H. not much different than my usual grocery list.
somethin' about having sex in my parents bed makes me feel like l'm finally an adult.
You do realize it's a Tuesday, right?
You do realize I stopped giving a fuck about calendars when I was 10, right? And besides, it could be the best Tuesday of your life.
She was raised with a wonderful home life. I can't do anything with that.
I guess wearing a straight up bikini to class is an early indication that Thirsty Thursday has started.
I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
She made out with the kickboxers bf. She was just asking to get kicked in the head. In the middle of the bar.
Drinking games this Saturday as usual although the ice cube tray game is banned due to last weeks incident
I have their Unicorn picture in my shirt, and I just threw a Bud Light Platinum bottle through their window. We need to go now.
I've got beer and a bag of saltwater taffy and croutons, is that enough for this typhoon thing?
I'm training him to sit when I whistle the tune from the hunger games. I'm going to be the coolest parent ever.
Usually I just ask myself "have I been naked here?" If the answer is no I correct the situation.
Def don't remember taking those pics I sent you...but it looks like I was in a car? Shit. Looks like my Uber passenger rating just went up exponentially.
Idk what y'all are doing but I just want you to know I'm home and if I hear him say "slap it" one more time I'm moving out
Randomize
