I have a feeling this won't be the last time I wake up wrapped in a shower curtain with the words "Blame Bono" spray painted on it
She's doing shots in her underwear, a fur hat and mittens. I'm never coming home.
I was trying to sing daddy wasnt there from austin powers but apparently I was crying and and yelling jibberish...I get to into this shit
Found a single cinnamon toast crunch between my butt cheeks. We did work last night
Why did my little sister call me from your phone this morning?
Things like this can't be explained over text man
We got kicked out of the ice rink last night for drinking and checking strangers... but they let us keep the beer
Such a good question, let's ask the alcohol gods for the answer.
According to him, i kept saying "I'm belligerent as SHIT" and tried to run around the house in just my bra and underwear. Thats when they decided to carry me to the car and take me home.
I mean with a sentence like that I knew I would be cumming
I rather not break my neck. It's hard to look sexy with a neck cast.
Bill says he deeply regrets the incident with the soda bottle
there is partying, then there is whatever we did last night.
you were so high you asked for half double stack and half crispy chicken sandwich "welded together" in the wendy's drive through
I'm about 40% drunk. You know, not drunk enough to light the bar on fire, but drunk enough to let the cougar hit on me.
Played Gay Bar on the jukebox and pissed off the Republicans here. Best day before birthday ever.
Randomize
