We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
this beer tastes like vomit already
my ass hurt today after the party last night. I wnt to the doctors and they found a coin in a ziplock bag with a note from you. WHAT THE FUCK DID U DO TO ME???
he just spelled fiance, "pheancie". I dont think he's ready to get married.
so i turned around to do some reverse cowgirl when he said that this was such a better visual for him. Bad compliment or serious insult. i cant tell
Holy shit there is too much Taco Bell here to talk to you
Well once I told her I had a girlfriend she actually got more aggressive. Then Danielle called me and she saw the pic of the two of us on my phone and immediately said "can my caller I'd pic be me sitting on your face" wtf?
When you are old and getting humped by saggy balls every other weekend you are gonna wish you had more sex with freshly legal boys. Your vagina will thank you one day. Don't let her down.
WHY IS FOOD SO DELICIOUS
BECAUSE SCIENCE
I just walked out of the side door of the bar to come in the front door so no one would know I've been here drinking before our work meeting.
Do you want to talk about dinosaurs?
Driving, getting head and talking to your boss on the phone is not a good combination. I nearly died
You carved your initals into all my vitamins and said "now a small part of me will be in you every morning" before you fell asleep with my thong on your head.
No problem...what are friends for if they can't rub eachothers genitals.
I’ve basically been controlling him with my tits for months now, so I can’t even imagine what would happen if I start banging him
Randomize
