It's like God shit irony all over that family
Best walk of shame ever. Not only did I not remember his name or the fact that we fucked, they all watched as I tried to get into 3 cars that werent mine
Oh and I threw up on myself...
2 showers later and I'm still finding cum on random body parts of mine
There's 12 honey baked hams in my fridge. I vaguely recalled you organizing a "Midnight Ham Run."
You know who really doesn't like surpise in-your-face air guitar solos? Strangers.
The stripper on stage Is eating a mozzarella stick while on the pole....that's a new level of I don't give a fuck
Oh, and no balcony sex...trust me.
Just gave a urinal high five to a complete stranger. Might not be such a bad night after all
Me and my vagina aren't speaking at the moment.
He calls it "his noble steed" and i plan to ride it.
Our innocent game of 'Duck, duck, booze.' ended up not being so innocent
THIS IS A FLATMATE WARNING! The white powder next to sink is washing powder I spilled and is not meant for human comsumption. I repeat- do not digest, snort or smoke the white powder next to the sink!!!!
Must've forgot to hang up with her when I was telling Josh I plan to pop champagne if I nail her tonight. She showed up with a bottle and said "only if we can toast it with Josh"
the bucket list is making me question my morals...and sexuality
Anyhow. He gives me orgasms and cuddles and buys me dinner and alcohol. Ill keep him around and cross that other girl bridge when we get there ha ha
Randomize
